AP
2005-03-21 06:20:04 UTC
from othercinema.com;
"HOLLYWOOD GARBAGE AND HOW TO SMELL IT"
by DENNIS NYBACK
The continuing waste of Newspaper space in the Arts and Entertainment
pages on Hollywood movies mystifies and appalls me. Please be advised
that I use the term Hollywood very loosely and intend it to cover 90%
of current films. For roughly twenty years, the films being churned
out have had nothing to do with art and everything to do with money.
If these films should be reported on at all it should be in the
financial section. The Arts & Entertainment pages should report on
just that: films that qualify.
How is that we've arrived at this desperate place? In the late
Seventies, the big motion picture producers hit on a formula for
money-making movies and have stuck to it. The big secret of the
formula is the concept of structured mediocrity. Don't strive for
greatness, play it safe. Don't challenge the audience, feed them
pabulum. Filmmaker John Woo recently said "Movies today lack heart and
tears. Studios don't want to take the risk".
In contrast, Robert Browning once said "A man's reach should exceed
his grasp". That statement is the antithesis of Hollywood today. They
realize that art is not created by playing it safe but instead of
reaching further, they grasp the easily attainable. Over and over and
over. The critics have apparently failed to notice this and continue
to take part in this colossal fraud by writing about the same old
shit.
The steady growth of the pure Garbage spewed out every year results in
a massive waste of newspaper ink and pulp. The modern market of
exponenentially increasing multiplexes, short theatrical runs,
unlimited TV channels, and video outlets, effectively monopolizes the
limited available newspaper space. As a result, films made by people
whose vision goes beyond profit are lost in the flood of celluloid
sewage with its mega ad camapigns. This tacit conspiracy between film
producers and newspapers almost guarantees that films made for profit
will succeed and films made for art will fail.
The first part of the formula for box-office success that I mentioned
earlier is an overriding philosophy. The most important thing is to
strive for mediocrity. The mediocre film doesn't need to generate huge
box office in the theatres. It may take a while but product placement
alone offsets much of the cost. After the US theatrical run comes the
Overseas markets, TV, and Video. The only way to screw this up is to
try and make a better film. A film that challenges an audience, that
is thought-provoking and something more than chewing gum for the eyes
is the only one that can fail.
The second part of the standard formula emphasizes style over
substance and includes the followng dictates:
* Start with a concept, not a script, writing is not important.
* Never depend on the vision of one writer but get a committee so
that one writer can spot the mistakes the others are making.
* Get a star, acting is not important.
* Get a bombastic composer. The composer is more important than
the writer. Good writing is rare and difficult. So, why bother doing
that when you can stir the emotions with loud music. (In certain films
aimed at the baby-boom generation, a composer is not even neded; a
disc-jockey is. Select the right blend of golden oldies a la Quentin
Tarentino and you're home free!)
* Get some special effects, again volume not content is important.
* Most importantly, tack on a happy ending. Voila! It goes down
easy and has no side effects such as being remembered a week later
when the same thing is dressed up and trotted out again.
I say that this has now been going on for twenty years based on a
conversation reported in the New York Times several years ago. The
reporter followed a maverick Hollywood producer around for awhile and
wrote about him. At one point he is having lunch with a mainstream
producers and says to him "Remember how great some of those films were
back in the Seventies when they would actually have unhappy endings?
Films like MEAN STREETS and THE PARALLAX VIEW and MCCABE AND MRS.
MILLER?" The mainstream guy just looked at him like he was an idiot
and said "Oh, that. That all ended with ROCKY!".
The producers have realized this but the critics still haven't caught
on. Many critics are now simply "Quote Whores". They will try to
include one catchy line in every review they write in the hope that it
will be used and credited to them in the advertisements. As long as
they get their name in the ads, their career is a success. No matter
how lousy a film is, it can always find a half dozen critics who will
say it's great in some quotable way. In today's New York Times, Siskel
and Ebert give "two thumbs up" to seven crummy movies. They also trot
out the tried and true "A great date film" for an eighth. Paul Wunder
is quoted as saying THE LOST WORLD is "The entertainment event of the
decade". Maria Sales says CONAIR is "The Roller-coaster ride of your
life". Joel Siegal says SPEED 2 is "A great summer film". Janet Maslin
says BREAKDOWN "Packs a punch". It goes on and on. Silly
overstatement, mindless hyperbole, trite cliches and out and out lies.
To help people to just say no to Hollywood Garbage, I offer the
following ten suggestions:
1. Never go to a film because it is "The Number One Film In
America"
2. Never go to a film that used more than two script writers or is
based on a best selling novel.
3. Never go to a film that advertises its soundtrack on sale.
Especially if it lists several artists as being featured on the
soundtrack.
4. Never go to a film because you saw it advertised on Television
or because the trailer had a hilarious line. Trailers were once used
to hint at what you would see. They didn't want to give anything away
free but make you shell out money to watch. Today they use the best
scenes and funniest lines to sucker you into believing that there's
plenty more where that came from.
5. Never go to a film that features product tie-ins with any
multi-national burger chain.
6. Never go to a film that runs an advertisemet with guns pointing
at your or that has a number after its title.
7. Never go to a film if it's based on a true story and you're
expecting the truth.
8. Never go to a film based on a TV show that baby-boomers
remember.
9. Never go to a film that is so bad that even Siskel and Ebert
don't like it and the producers have to resort to some quote whore
you've never heard of from an equally obscure publication.
10. Never go to a film with Quentin Tarentino, Oliver Stone, or
anyone else that you care to add to this list.
"HOLLYWOOD GARBAGE AND HOW TO SMELL IT"
by DENNIS NYBACK
The continuing waste of Newspaper space in the Arts and Entertainment
pages on Hollywood movies mystifies and appalls me. Please be advised
that I use the term Hollywood very loosely and intend it to cover 90%
of current films. For roughly twenty years, the films being churned
out have had nothing to do with art and everything to do with money.
If these films should be reported on at all it should be in the
financial section. The Arts & Entertainment pages should report on
just that: films that qualify.
How is that we've arrived at this desperate place? In the late
Seventies, the big motion picture producers hit on a formula for
money-making movies and have stuck to it. The big secret of the
formula is the concept of structured mediocrity. Don't strive for
greatness, play it safe. Don't challenge the audience, feed them
pabulum. Filmmaker John Woo recently said "Movies today lack heart and
tears. Studios don't want to take the risk".
In contrast, Robert Browning once said "A man's reach should exceed
his grasp". That statement is the antithesis of Hollywood today. They
realize that art is not created by playing it safe but instead of
reaching further, they grasp the easily attainable. Over and over and
over. The critics have apparently failed to notice this and continue
to take part in this colossal fraud by writing about the same old
shit.
The steady growth of the pure Garbage spewed out every year results in
a massive waste of newspaper ink and pulp. The modern market of
exponenentially increasing multiplexes, short theatrical runs,
unlimited TV channels, and video outlets, effectively monopolizes the
limited available newspaper space. As a result, films made by people
whose vision goes beyond profit are lost in the flood of celluloid
sewage with its mega ad camapigns. This tacit conspiracy between film
producers and newspapers almost guarantees that films made for profit
will succeed and films made for art will fail.
The first part of the formula for box-office success that I mentioned
earlier is an overriding philosophy. The most important thing is to
strive for mediocrity. The mediocre film doesn't need to generate huge
box office in the theatres. It may take a while but product placement
alone offsets much of the cost. After the US theatrical run comes the
Overseas markets, TV, and Video. The only way to screw this up is to
try and make a better film. A film that challenges an audience, that
is thought-provoking and something more than chewing gum for the eyes
is the only one that can fail.
The second part of the standard formula emphasizes style over
substance and includes the followng dictates:
* Start with a concept, not a script, writing is not important.
* Never depend on the vision of one writer but get a committee so
that one writer can spot the mistakes the others are making.
* Get a star, acting is not important.
* Get a bombastic composer. The composer is more important than
the writer. Good writing is rare and difficult. So, why bother doing
that when you can stir the emotions with loud music. (In certain films
aimed at the baby-boom generation, a composer is not even neded; a
disc-jockey is. Select the right blend of golden oldies a la Quentin
Tarentino and you're home free!)
* Get some special effects, again volume not content is important.
* Most importantly, tack on a happy ending. Voila! It goes down
easy and has no side effects such as being remembered a week later
when the same thing is dressed up and trotted out again.
I say that this has now been going on for twenty years based on a
conversation reported in the New York Times several years ago. The
reporter followed a maverick Hollywood producer around for awhile and
wrote about him. At one point he is having lunch with a mainstream
producers and says to him "Remember how great some of those films were
back in the Seventies when they would actually have unhappy endings?
Films like MEAN STREETS and THE PARALLAX VIEW and MCCABE AND MRS.
MILLER?" The mainstream guy just looked at him like he was an idiot
and said "Oh, that. That all ended with ROCKY!".
The producers have realized this but the critics still haven't caught
on. Many critics are now simply "Quote Whores". They will try to
include one catchy line in every review they write in the hope that it
will be used and credited to them in the advertisements. As long as
they get their name in the ads, their career is a success. No matter
how lousy a film is, it can always find a half dozen critics who will
say it's great in some quotable way. In today's New York Times, Siskel
and Ebert give "two thumbs up" to seven crummy movies. They also trot
out the tried and true "A great date film" for an eighth. Paul Wunder
is quoted as saying THE LOST WORLD is "The entertainment event of the
decade". Maria Sales says CONAIR is "The Roller-coaster ride of your
life". Joel Siegal says SPEED 2 is "A great summer film". Janet Maslin
says BREAKDOWN "Packs a punch". It goes on and on. Silly
overstatement, mindless hyperbole, trite cliches and out and out lies.
To help people to just say no to Hollywood Garbage, I offer the
following ten suggestions:
1. Never go to a film because it is "The Number One Film In
America"
2. Never go to a film that used more than two script writers or is
based on a best selling novel.
3. Never go to a film that advertises its soundtrack on sale.
Especially if it lists several artists as being featured on the
soundtrack.
4. Never go to a film because you saw it advertised on Television
or because the trailer had a hilarious line. Trailers were once used
to hint at what you would see. They didn't want to give anything away
free but make you shell out money to watch. Today they use the best
scenes and funniest lines to sucker you into believing that there's
plenty more where that came from.
5. Never go to a film that features product tie-ins with any
multi-national burger chain.
6. Never go to a film that runs an advertisemet with guns pointing
at your or that has a number after its title.
7. Never go to a film if it's based on a true story and you're
expecting the truth.
8. Never go to a film based on a TV show that baby-boomers
remember.
9. Never go to a film that is so bad that even Siskel and Ebert
don't like it and the producers have to resort to some quote whore
you've never heard of from an equally obscure publication.
10. Never go to a film with Quentin Tarentino, Oliver Stone, or
anyone else that you care to add to this list.
--
www.iaciners.org
<<See, now's the time of the meal when you start getting the McStomach
ache.>>
www.iaciners.org
<<See, now's the time of the meal when you start getting the McStomach
ache.>>